I started a workout program basically walking every day for at least 30 minutes. I havent' gotten on the scales yet but I know that if I continue to push through every ache and pain I will come out on the other side of this hard and painful journey.
I walked one night with my sister and I wanted to give up so terribly, and then the pain set in, ache, tiresome-ness, lack of drive, and just plain flat out disgust in all the work it takes to push through all the issues I've dealt with that I have allowed my body to take over a life of it's own, well I'm taking it back. Something snapped and I was so angry, I told my sister & daughter to please stop talking to me I could barely breathe as I walked uphill, and then I knew, I did this; but I can take the power back. Next thing I knew I was crying, I don't know why. Something broke, something let loose, whatever hold was on me for so long, all the pain, all the frustration, all the lack, the hurt, the lack of self worth, the criticism ....everything was gone and I was literally sobbing. Whatever it was I left behind me on that walk that day.
This is not only a journey of weight loss but a journey of finding myself again, the true me. The deep down, gut wrenching truth of who I am and once was and finding that balance again with who I am now, and who I was.
Today I walked for 65 minutes with a friend, we went out for brunch and then I came home and did 30 more minutes of a mix of pilates and trampoline exercises. I rewarded myself with a healthy fruit smoothie. I eat healthy, that is not the problem most of the time it's learning to get back up on my feet when I feel knocked down and pressing onward forcing the pain of strongholds to no longer take their hold on me so here's to the next step, here's to my new painstaking journey, here's to a new happiness, and the color purple!
Easy peasy recipe:
1/4 cup blueberries
1/4 cup raspberries
1/2 banana
5 ice cubes
1 1/2 cups milk
I used my magic bullet to blend and enjoy!
Many blessings to you today! ~Kelly
1 comment:
Hi Kelly! I found a card you had done on Pinterest. Then I came over to your blog! I can feel your pain with trying to exercise. I hate exercise, but certainly we are better off for it. Hang in there! You can do it. Your smoothine has me thinking this is what I need to make the grandkids tomorrow after school! Thanks!
Now on to find the bandaid "Get Well" card you made. Its so cute. Hope I can find it!
xoxo- Julie
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